Today’s tale is a composite of essentially true events set in an authentic location where the events did not actually happen in a time frame that I have accelerated. Now that that’s clear . . . come on in, the water’s fine!
I was enjoying the sunrise on Lanikai Beach and—honestly—fishing for a good catch. I am an excellent multi-tasker. Although by and large I am happy swimming solo like an awesome tiger shark, I have learned that after a while, that lifestyle makes me a bit crabby. I have a big heart, and no woman is an island. After dating a man years ago who was slippery as an eel (but whom I had taken to hook, line, and sinker), I found myself free floating and ready to get my feet wet once again.
A gorgeous sun-kissed man of appropriate age strode across my patch of sand, so I introduced myself, bubbling over with enthusiasm. I was nervous, floundering a bit, and I noticed my hands had become clammy. Just then his stunning wife-apparent walked up to us and gave me an icy stare. That took the wind out of my sails. This was clearly not an appropriate place to drop anchor, so I had no choice but to go with the flow. I smiled, gave a little Namaste to them both, and . . . backed away from the husband.
I sat on the sand and frowned. Having learned I had cast my net a little too wide, I revised my strategy. I made a mental note to check for wedding rings, although I knew that was just the tip of the iceberg; there is more to finding a safe harbor than inquiring “Is the gentleman unmarried?”
I stood up, stepped forward, and dabbled in the water, pausing to impress my heels into my favorite layer of gummy sand. I smiled and rested there, soaking up the sunlight and quietly producing Vitamin D.
A little while later, a man approached and began a conversation. While smiling and nodding, I noticed that he was not wearing a ring, and that I found him attractive. Good start! “Gee, you’re nice,” he said after a while. “How about I introduce you to my fiancé and our group of friends? We could have a whale of a time!”
Ah.
“You can do whatever floats your boat,” I replied, “but I am not into the broadcast breeding scene. I am much more Laysan Albatross than coral.” I do love to dance, and I am pretty sure I cannot clone myself. The latter could cut down on dating time though, so I should probably give it a shot. Try anything once, right? Well, almost anything . . .
Nope. Didn’t work.
I continued walking down the beautiful white sandy beach, relishing the warmth of the sun on my shoulders and quite pleased with my current navigation.
While strolling, I momentarily recalled a brief relationship I had had recently. It was my first one since recovering from The Eel. This gentleman was kind and respectful, but after a couple of weeks he did not initiate much. A bit like plankton, he drifted with whatever was happening. Not wanting to throw the baby out with the bathwater, I spent some time seeing if I could elicit some excitement from him. I couldn’t quite fathom what was going on, and I thought perhaps I had forgotten how this relation-ship thing worked. But I soon realized he just did not extend much energy my way, and that was okay; every cloud has a silver lining, so I changed course fairly quickly.
Hey, speaking of things that do not move much, I am sure you are aware of the large areas of plastic accumulating in the quiet spots of each of our world’s oceans. But you may not have heard of nineteen year old Boyan Slat who has a novel idea to clean a good portion of it up! Once implemented, his idea may be able to fish out one third of the plastic in the gyres, separate out the vital plankton, recycle the plastic, and make a profit! It is now in the “procuring public funding for feasibility study” stage and totally impressive; you have got to check it out. Yes, Mr. Slat is too young for me, but I am certainly drawn to his intellect and passion. And yes, Philippe Cousteau, Jr is the perfect age and seems to have an incredible head on his shoulders, but he is betrothed. And life continues, yes?
So today I take a deep breath, understanding that I am once again sailing into uncharted waters. But I can feel a profound sea change coming, so I remain optimistic. Plus, as the first ever marine life census shows us, there are plenty of fish in the sea!
I will sea you next month, Dear Readers! Many thanks for all that you do.
The above column was originally posted in May of 2013, in the online newsletter kailua411.com. It has been reprinted here with permission from the publisher. The newsletter is no longer online.